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Saddened

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Today, we met with our regular obgyn.  We did another ultrasound to confirm if we were have twins.  

Baby A is measuring 10 weeks 6 days and the heartbeat was 173. 

Baby B is no longer with us.  Baby B had no heart and is smaller than before as my body has started to absorb the baby.  

I am....upset, saddened, emotionally drained.  I am spending the day home by myself.  Ben went back to work and Ava is stull at daycare.  I needed this afternoon to grieve.  

I usually try to find the silver linings when bad stuff happens; I have thought of a couple but they just do not seem to matter.  

I should mention we are extremely excited and grateful that baby A is doing so weel and growing strong! 

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